Discernment Therapy

Does it feel like you or your partner have one foot out the door?

We can work with that.

When a relationship gets to this point, it can be an agonizing experience for both partners: “Should we work at it? Should we call it quits? Sometimes we’re great… sometimes it’s just so hard.” There’s a lot at stake, and by the time you reach out to us, you may have a long list of arguments to stay… and arguments to go.

In our experience it’s quite common for partners to be unsure, or for one partner to be “leaning in” to the relationship, while one partner is “leaning out.” This creates a unique dynamic that can include cycles of emotional upheaval and withdrawal between the partners that must be addressed before couples therapy can be helpful.

In traditional marriage counseling, the therapist might assume that the best thing for the couple is to stay together and may unconsciously work to promote the agenda of the “leaning in” partner. In discernment therapy, we create a safe environment for truly exploring what’s real in the relationship right now, and what’s possible going forward.

Discernment therapy is a short, 1-5 session process that lays out three possible paths for the relationship:

  1. Status Quo – Maintain the relationship without significant change, but with some new understanding of your relational patterns.
  2. Conscious Separation/Divorce – Bring the relationship to a close, acknowledging the relationship for what it was, the good and the bad.
  3. Make a Commitment – Agree to work on the relationship for a period of 3-6 months with divorce off the table. At the end of the agreed-on timeframe, revisit these 3 paths.

If you’re looking for clarity about which direction to go in your relationship, discernment therapy may be a good fit. Contact us to find out more.